Losing a pet can be incredibly difficult - you’re losing a loved one. You’re losing a family member, someone who you’ve spent many cherished moments with. It’s natural to want to do something to honour your pet’s memory. Knowing exactly what to do can be difficult, however; the rituals and ceremonies for honouring pets aren’t necessarily as well-established as they are for people.
Hold a Memorial Service
You can memorialize your pets in much the same way as you can memorialize a person - have loved ones gather together to remember your pet. There are a variety of locations you could choose for the ceremony - your backyard, your pet’s favourite park, a pet cemetery, a memorial forest - whatever feels right.
How the memorial service will proceed is up to you, but you can take cues from the way services are held for people. You can, for example, ask people to say a few words about your pet. You might even eulogize your pet. You might not know what to say in a eulogy for your pet; again, you can treat it a lot like a eulogy for a person. Talk about your pet’s personality, memories you had with them, and important events in their life.
Consider making a permanent memorial to your pet. When your pet has been cremated, you can keep their urn with you. You could also scatter the ashes. You might get a tombstone in a pet cemetery or have a tree planted in a memorial forest in their honour. Memorial forests are particularly nice for animals who loved the outdoors; these spaces are designed to be walked in.
When your pet passes, you may not know how to bring it up with your children. Knowing how to talk to your kids about death can be difficult. Be honest with them about how you’re feeling, and don’t be afraid to show your emotions. Ask them how they’re feeling, let them know there’s no right way to feel, and tell them that you’re there for them, no matter what.
Donate to Animal Welfare
Actions can speak louder than words. You can honour your pet’s life by supporting animal welfare organizations. You’ll help other animals find loving homes and help families find loving pets. You can donate your time or your money; whatever feels best to you. Acts of charity are borne from the spirit of love; spread the love your pet has given you, to others.
You don’t need to donate time or money, either. If you’re up to it, you might consider donating favourite toys, blankets, or other items your pet loved; another beautiful way of sharing the love your pet brought to your life.
Keep a Journal
The thoughts and feelings that go through your mind when you lose a pet can be complex. Grief doesn’t always manifest itself in a linear way. You may find yourself on a walk, thinking of the walks you used to take with your pet. You may see a food bowl and be flooded with memories. These feelings are natural and processing them may take time.
It can be helpful to keep a journal of your thoughts, emotions, and memories. Putting your emotions into words can ease your processing, and you can look back on the journal to reflect on how you felt during this difficult time. You might even write to your pet in the journal; these letters of love can help you speak to them, even when they’re no longer physically present.
Honour Them with a Hobby
Are you a painter? Consider painting your pet and putting their portrait up in your house. A writer? Write a poem or short story about your pet. Perhaps you own a business? You might consider naming one of your products after your pet. Creating a physical, tangible remembrance is an excellent way of keeping their light in your life and reminding you of the love you shared.
Perhaps you don’t have a hobby right now; for many of us, taking care of our pets is a hobby all its own. You might, then, consider taking the time to learn a hobby in honour of your pet. There may be no better way of remembering their love than learning a new skill or talent specifically so you can have a way of honouring them. Every time you engage in your new hobby, you’ll be reminded that you’re doing it because of them; that keeps their love in your heart for the rest of your life.
Support Others, Be Supported
We live in a world full of connections; there are a number of different forums you might be able to visit in order to connect with other pet owners. From Facebook groups to subreddits, there are a lot of places you can find support online from others who have gone through similar experiences.
When you’re a part of these online groups, take the time to help other pet owners. Give advice to new ones; they’re there looking for a guiding hand. Talk about your experiences and share your love of your pet with others. You, in turn, will be supported. These groups understand what it’s like to lose a pet. They love their pets like family, just like you do. They’ll be able to direct you to resources to help you with your grief, and they’ll offer a safe space to talk about your feelings.
Joining these groups can create a real sense of belonging and community during what can be a difficult and confusing time. Love creates love. The love your pet and you shared can bring you to these forums, full of others who love their pets. You then share that love with one another and support each other. There may be no more beautiful remembrance of your pet than that.
~