Before the pandemic, there were many ways that we could support someone who lost a loved one. We could hug them, attend the funeral, and/or visit them often and be the friend that they needed.
But due to COVID-19, we cannot support our loved ones in these ways anymore. Gathering sizes are restricted and we are encouraged to reduce contact with those outside our household. That means no hugs or home visits.
It’s difficult to stay apart from someone who needs our support. How can we help those who are experiencing bereavement when we are adhering to social distancing?
Use these ways to help loved ones who are grieving:
Show support on social media.
Some might think that a comment on a Twitter or Facebook post is insincere, but that’s not the case. Try to write something as simple as, “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I’m thinking of you during this difficult time”. Your message doesn’t have to be long, detailed, or specific. Even if you don’t know the person that well, these messages are a show of support that can make a difference during a difficult time.
Host a video call.
Seeing the faces of those we love can help us cope, even if it’s only via a screen. There’s nothing wrong with having a good cry over Zoom; in fact, it can be therapeutic. You can listen to their feelings and let them talk, or try to talk their minds off of their grief by distracting them. By staying in contact digitally, you’ll be keeping family members safe as coronavirus spreads. Take advantage of the different video chat services that have become increasingly popular since the COVID-19 pandemic.
Plant a memorial tree.
If you’re unable to attend a funeral service, you might be seeking closure. It’s becoming more popular to plant trees in honour of loved ones who have passed on.
By planting a memorial tree, you’ll have this tangible closure for yourself. Send photos of the tree and memorial stone to family members of the deceased. This gesture can help you and the family cope with grief.
Send a letter.
Typing a digital message is a great way to show support, but sometimes you want to demonstrate a more personal gesture. A handwritten letter is a great way to do that. It shows you’ve taken the time and effort to draft a very thoughtful message to your friend or family member. That letter will not go unnoticed or unappreciated by the recipient. Having something tangible to hold on to for support can help them with the grieving process.
Leave a voicemail.
Your loved one may not feel ready to talk on the phone yet, and that’s perfectly okay. Leaving a voicemail allows them to hear the sound of your voice but without the pressure to respond. Share supportive messages and acknowledge that they are experiencing a deep loss. At the end of your message, tell them that they don’t need to call you back until they feel ready. This will alleviate any burden or stress that communication may cause them.
Deliver a meal.
When we experience grief, it can be difficult to perform daily tasks like cleaning, working, or cooking. Try to relieve this burden by delivering a home-cooked meal or using a delivery service to get them their favourite restaurant meal. It can be dropped off at their doorstep so that you maintain physical distancing. This can go a long way in helping someone who is struggling.
Remember to take care of yourself.
Sometimes, we lose ourselves when we take care of other people. Many types of grief and loss express themselves in different ways. Remember to be mindful of your needs, too. Take some time out of each day to disconnect from the world and focus on yourself. This might involve journalling, doing yoga, or taking a hot bubble bath. Whichever form of self-care is your favourite, remember to tend to yourself when you’re supporting others.
There’s never an easy time to experience a loss. But during a pandemic, grief is more challenging than ever. This makes it even more important to support our friends and family when they lose someone in their life.
It’s hard to compete with the relief that a long hug provides. During times of physical distancing, the above tips can help you support others while limiting your contact.